“I could see why respect was better than niceness, and why I couldn’t have both.”
Growing up, “silence was punishment, confession was connection, and criticism was love.”
“If you want to know what someone is feeling, ask. And when you tell them, believe them.” → what his father told him, but really not the case…
“With the unvarnished truth, answers require no hesitation.”
You can’t convince people to love you by being right.
Etiquette seen as a complex system of rules for being dishonest, barrier for people from other groups to fit in
Honesty → no weighing of different kinds of pain, gambling on what is kindest (vs being honest, don’t have to worry about other people’s feelings)
Chekhov always making people feel good about themselves
After a period of time if dishonesty, fell back into patterns of honesty— but softer, making sure to empathize with the person he was being honest with
Followed one rule— read whether the person wants honesty or not